We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
