meet me or not, i'm out of control
Girls should come with a carfax report
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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