D3 body, D1 cock
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
