On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
