Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
3pm strippers are depressing
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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