my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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