: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
