so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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