Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So much rum. So many feels.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
