I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize