I want to stick my p in your. b.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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