I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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