Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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