Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
