Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
