dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
