Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize