It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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