the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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