fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
