I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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