its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
