Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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