there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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