went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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