if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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