sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
