Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
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I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
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I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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