dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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