Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Let's paint friendship bongs
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
