I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
