seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
