; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
