Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
