We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize