Pappa wants mamma naked
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
