Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
