He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
