drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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