I think I am morally bankrupt
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
