Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
