Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
