You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
