in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
