No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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