Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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