it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
