ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize