shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
