im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
