My friends, they love my intelligence
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
