every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
