sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
