You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
