had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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