Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
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She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
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I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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