your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
