That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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