I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i drank out of a bidet.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
