the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.