I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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