Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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