Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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