I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
not ubering you a puppy
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
