Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We're too hungover to prance.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
