there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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