Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
