Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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