p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
tell me about the eggs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize