Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
